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Monday, February 19, 2018

Valentines Day, Dinner and a Movie, Thanks to the Spirit World.

"Hey, good looking, where have you
been all my afterlife?"
Last week was Saint Valentine's Day. A day for grand romantic gestures and overt displays of love and affection, sweet, chocolaty morsels, bouquets of fragrant, flowering beauty. My wife does not want a lot of chocolate, she is worried about the calories and the sugar. So, I got her a Ouija Board game.

A Ouija Board is has the alphabet and numbers 1 through 9, plus the words yes and no, and the
shortcut words of hello and goodbye (for ease of communication) printed on the front. By placing your fingers on the "planchette"  and asking questions you can seek guidance from the spirit world. Nothing says love like the ability to communicate with the dead.

We sat down to find solutions to a few problems we have been struggling with. Mostly they involve what to have for dinner*. It can be a struggle to find the right thing night after night. Week in and week out. An endless parade of meals, pots, pans, dirty dishes, and countless trips to the grocery store. And as soon as you finish washing, drying and putting away the plates from one meal you have to start thinking about the next.

"Dang, that was good. What do you want for dinner* tomorrow night?"

"I don't know. What do you want?"

Every night for almost thirty years. Since we had the Ouija board game anyway, and we didn't really know what to ask this seemed like genius.

Oh my God. Don't ever ask anybody who roamed the earth thousands of years ago about planning a menu. They ate like animals. No wonder everybody died so young. It was better than eating dinner*.

So, we're back to square one. Though we won't be having anything with brain. Tonight we are going to see if the spirits have any advice on evening television, we can never agree on what to watch.

I would like to apologize to President's Day. Life Explained is running a little behind and we should be able to cover the importance of today by Wednesday, Thursday, at the latest.

* Feel free to substitute the word supper here. Some people are very indignant about this. I don't want to step on anybody's toes, so supper, dinner, you can call it evening breakfast, I am fine with them all.